Do women talk like men? Do men talk like women?
Yes, and no. I think it’s a pretty situational thing. Look at it this way – If a mixed crowd is having a Friday-after-work cocktail at their favorite watering hole, then the ladies might sometimes cut to the chase like men, and the men might sometimes get expansive and wordier, as women often do. Put the same group back behind their desks at the office, and things switch back – the men return to being terse, and the women return to being explanative.
Is one good and the other bad? No. Is one more acceptable than the other? No. Does one say more about the soul of the speaker than the other? I don’t think so.
Hmm . . . Then how do you translate all these truths into believable dialogue in a work of fiction? Good question, says I.
I don’t think I have a bullet-proof answer, but I suspect I do have a fairly good step one. And it’s this – if a character is speaking from his/her heart, imagine what your wife or lover might say. Be word specific, and pay attention to how they say it. Are they looking straight ahead? Have they averted their eyes? Is their tone a near whisper or a shout? Take all that into account and what you put down on the page will probably be good, representative and believable. If, on the other hand, a character is speaking from his/her brain or ego, how would you, or your best buddy say it, if they were irked or down right angry? Again, pay attention to posture, tone of voice, and attitude when they speak. If you capture these things accurately, you’ll have pretty good dialogue.
At the end of the day, emotions are emotions, and none are unique to either sex. But if the way you state them is unisex, your dialogue will suffer a well-deserved flop.
